Middle school students learn a lesson in etiquette
Minding their manners
Tom Fedor/The Gazette
Kelly Frager teaches youth communication skills in her "Communication Skills for Young Adults" after school at Mount Airy Middle School.
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The boys and girls stood on opposite sides of Room 104 in Mount Airy Middle School as though they were at a fifth-grade dance.
But then the kids started to mingle as they learned the basics of proper handshakes, introductions, and other non-verbal communication as part of Communication Skills for Young Adults, an after-school class that teaches students how to communicate in today's world.
The optional course offers training on everything from writing a proper e-mail to telephone etiquette and listening, public speaking and the importance of thank-you notes.
"I truly do find it terribly important for a young person to be able to introduce themselves to a new person," Principal Ginny Savell said about the class.
She said she often has interviews or meets with people, and "it doesn't feel like I have their hand in my hand" when they give her weak handshakes.
"Sometimes they don't look me in the eye," Savell added.
The course's instructor, Kelly Frager of Mount Airy, is teaching the class of 22 for the second year in a row. Frager is neither volunteering nor being paid by the school. Rather, the parents of the students who signed up send a $50 check for registration to Etiquette for Everyday, a business that Frager owns. Her youngest daughter, Megan Frager, a student at Mount Airy Middle, is taking the class this year.
"The kids gain a lot from the group experience and being able to practice the skills they've learned," Frager said about the hands-on approach to etiquette that the students receive.
The second in a series of four classes on Nov. 13 started with a pep talk from Savell about how important it is to have these kinds of communication skills throughout their lives.
Savell talked about a previous student who was not good at science, but who had good people skills. "I knew he was going to be a success because he knows how to talk to people," Savell finished the story.
Frager said that hearing examples from their principal drives the point home to her students.
"[Savell] can come in and she can share, as another adult, why these skills are important," Frager said, noting that she often has to spend the first class "selling" the course to the kids, whose parents have signed them up.
"How much communication is nonverbal?" Frager asked the class, trying to reiterate how important it was to remember lessons.
"Ninety-three percent," several students responded.
The class has been offered for three years, originally being taught by the International School of Protocol. Frager took the certification course and started teaching the class last year.
She thought that these kinds of skills were important for children, especially at the middle school level, and approached Savell about offering the class. That is when the International School of Protocol came in to teach the 10 or 11 kids whose parents signed up for the $50 class.
During the Nov. 13 session, the students cemented their handshake skills, introductions and conversation skills. To teach the students how to properly introduce others, they learned the hierarchy of importance and authority.
The students giggled as they introduced themselves to each other with names like "King Henry," "Doctor Feelbetter," and "Grandma Tickle."
Between munching on snacks and lollipops, select students were asked to volunteer to show the class what they had learned. Some of the more outgoing students could not wait to stand in front of the class and introduce their assumed personas to their fellow classmates.
Frager's three children are not exempt from the class, even though they may learn some of the skills at home. Her oldest daughter, Katie, 13, took the class when it was taught by the International School of Protocol, and now her youngest daughter, Megan, 11, is taking the class. Her son, Ryan, 7, has a few more years to go.
"It's fun, I enjoy it," Megan said about the class as she went on to talk about having her mom as a teacher. "She's really nice and she lets us play games. She's not like a regular teacher."
But what she is learning during the class is getting through. "I've heard her say [the lessons] before, but not in the same way," Megan said.
The class has already started to take effect in the students' lives. When Savell went down to the lunch room the next day, students from the class were standing up and speaking to her, a few even practicing their handshake techniques.
To learn about upcoming classes like "Table Manners," set for early winter at Mount Airy Middle School, or to learn more about etiquette, contact Kelly Frager at 301-829-6944 or visit www.etiquetteforeveryday.com.
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