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U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder says Americans are "a nation of cowards" because they won't engage in candid, open racial dialogues. To which I say, I'm not walking into that trap. White Americans take a pass on race conversations for the same reason husbands take a pass when wives ask, "Do you think I've put on weight?" It's a set-up.

Wives don't really want to know if they've gained weight, they want to hear that they haven't. Likewise, Eric Holder doesn't really want race dialogues; he wants to lecture whites on black victimhood.

Ever been in a group workshop where whites and blacks are supposed to dialogue about race? It's a joke — blacks do the talking while whites silently watch the clock on the wall.

Open, candid exchanges require perspective and a willingness to see the other person's point of view. That's not America circa 2009. Here are some examples of the widening racial disconnect in today's news:

- Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon, a black woman, is standing trial for perjury and theft (a racist prosecution say some Dixon supporters). So black leaders worry that if Dixon is convicted, her successor will be appointed by Maryland's white governor.

"Our concern is, who would the governor appoint?" asks Baltimore NAACP President Marvin Cheatham. "Here you have a predominately African-American city. What if the governor appointed somebody white.....?"

-Last week Washington, D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty's nominee for city parks director, a Hispanic woman, was rejected by the predominately black city council, in part, because she wasn't black and, therefore, "couldn't understand our culture" according to council member Marion Barry, who further explained that the parks department serves people "Who are black and brown, that is who we are. We have a culture that is different."

-Tennessee Congressman Steve Cohen, a white representing a predominately black district, is opposed by a black opponent in Willie Herenton, who's making race the issue.

According to Herenton's campaign manager, "This seat was set aside for people who look like me. It wasn't set aside for a Jew or a Christian. It was set aside so that blacks could have representation."

- Radio personality Rush Limbaugh wants to be part owner of an NFL franchise. But, when the reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton objected, Limbaugh was dropped. Why?

Back in 2003, when Limbaugh was an ESPN commentator, he said that Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb got preferential treatment because he was black, "The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well." Kind of like Barack Obama six years later.

What a wonderful opportunity for an open, candid race dialogue, a "teachable moment." But instead of a dialogue Limbaugh got an ESPN dismissal. And that transgression is now enough to ban him from NFL ownership.

"We're all held to a high standard here," explains NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. What? Limbaugh doesn't meet the ethical standards of owners who regularly shake down cities for free stadiums and of players who include druggies, drunks, wife beaters and dog killers? Give me a break.

Under today's whacked standards, Roman Polanski could probably be an NFL owner but not Rush Limbaugh.

On one hand, there's visible racial progress: the nation's president is black; so is the nation's top athlete (Tiger Woods) and top entertainer (Oprah). And white liberals are falling over themselves to apologize for slavery, rename public buildings, close the testing gap, expand affirmative action programs, celebrate black history month and wallow in white shame ("It's horrifying to imagine kids being proud to be white," says Newsweek).

Yet, race relations stink. Town hall protesters and Tea Party tax opponents are branded racists. And the social punishments for N-word usage, fashioning a noose or displaying a Confederate flag are way, way beyond the extreme. It wasn't too long ago that a white Washington, D.C. employee lost his job for using "niggardly" in a conversation with a black employee. What a triumph for ignorance.

OK, let's experiment with open, candid race dialogues: "People putting their clothes on backward, people with their hats on backward, pants down around their crack? Five-hundred-dollar sneakers? And they won't spend $200 for ‘Hooked on Phonics?' People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands' with names like Shaniqua, Taniqua and all that junk. And they're all in jail. We have millionaire football players who can't read and million dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. Black folks have to do a better job."

No, that's not me talking, it's entertainer Bill Cosby, who's been saying this to fellow blacks for years. He's allowed. If it was me, it would be a hate crime. Open, candid dialogues? Call me when you're serious.

Blair Lee is CEO of the Lee Development Group in Silver Spring and a regular commentator for WBAL radio. His column appears Fridays in The Gazette. His e-mail address is blair@leedg.com.