Staying active can make staying at home priceless
Melinda Runyon started a new job two months ago. She's no longer a mortgage specialist for an area bank, but instead has taken on the position of stay-at-home mother.
Her daughters are 6, 4 and 2 months old, but this is Runyon's first time staying at home with them. Rising childcare costs partly fueled the decision for Runyon, 29, of Frederick, to make the switch, but she also said she "felt the need to focus on family more," since she described herself as a "workaholic."
Although Runyon talks positively about the change, she still has her doubts about the decision.
"I'm a little scared about losing the job and not being able to get back into the workforce," she said. "Every day, I go back and forth."
Vicki Pritchett, 34, of Frederick, is a stay-at-home mother of two daughters ages 7 and 4. She is also the co-president of the Frederick-North chapter of MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support) Club, a group that provides support and activities for at-home mothers. She had always envisioned staying at home with her children, but when she was laid off from her telecommunications job at the same time she learned she was pregnant, becoming a stay-at-home mother was inevitable.
"It's always a hard choice because you sacrifice no matter what," Pritchett says, noting that some working moms feel guilty because they are not able to spend enough time with their children, while some at-home mothers feel guilty because they are not bringing home money.
Elizabeth Thackery, 30, of Ijamsville is co-leader of FrederickMommies.com, an online support group for mothers in Frederick, Washington and Western Carroll counties. About 18 months ago, she left a job as a recreational therapist in a nursing home to stay home with her son. She says her biggest challenge with the change has been battling isolation and what she describes as "sensory deprivation." Her advice to first-time stay-at-home moms is to network with others.
"Make sure you do not leave full-time work, have a baby, and do not have a support network or group," Thackery said. "Find a circle." She suggests churches, neighborhood organizations or mothers' groups as places to look to meet others.
Alix Cooney agrees. She is a stay-at-home mother of three who says that even though her husband would have been willing to be the primary caregiver, it was always something she wanted to do. Despite this, she admits that isolation can be a challenging aspect of the job, especially for new moms with infants.
"You absolutely need to link up with other people with children at the same age," Cooney, 39, of Frederick, said. She also suggests "creative calendar planning" to beat the boredom of repetition.
"Plan activities every week. If you do not plan activities, you will find yourself not being very happy staying at home," she said.
Thackery also advises, "Don't let go of what you love." She suggests finding a way to give back to the community by doing something of interest. She volunteers at a nursing home and has maintained a position on the board of her professional certification counsel.
Stacie Clark, a career services manager with Frederick City Workforce Services, strongly recommends this idea to stay-at-home mothers if they are at all thinking about returning to the workforce in the future.
"One of the biggest cons [for stay-at-home mothers] is their skills and résumés do not stay current or up-to-date," she says. She suggests volunteering, whether it be through a "church, neighborhood organization, or even a school clothing drive" as a way for at-home moms to stay involved outside their kids network and build job skills.
"People do not give enough credit to volunteering," Clark said. "[But] it helps keep their résumés and network alive."
Along these lines, Clark says doing "project-based" pro bono work for an organization is a good idea. These projects often have a start and end date, which is good for at-home mothers whose time is tight.
Finally, Clark suggests taking online courses in one's field as a way to stay at home, but "keep a career edge and mind fresh."
At the end of the day, though, Thackery says there always needs to be a balance.
"There is so much value in how we raise our children," she said. "There are moments of a stay-at-home mom that are priceless. Don't miss out on those."
Find more stories about parenting in Frederick County online at www.gazette.net/parentconnection.
-MOMSclub.org: An international group with local chapters that provide support for at-home mothers
-FrederickMommies.com: An online community for mothers in Frederick, Washington and Western Carroll counties