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Christine Colburn's daughter turned 8 years old on Friday afternoon.

The Frederick mom smiled just as wide as most other parents and children on the Catoctin Wildlife Preserve and Zoo safari ride that day, but she acknowledged the party-planning process wasn't all fun and games.

One obstacle was that her daughter, "a huge animal fanatic," couldn't decide between inviting guests to a Build-A-Bear Workshop or to the Thurmont zoo, she said. "A lot of times the child will change their mind" at the last minute, she said. Colburn has two biological children and three stepchildren.

While her daughter was ultimately happy with her choice this year, things haven't always gone so smoothly, Colburn said.

One year she wanted a make-your-own-pottery party, but when the date of the event drew closer, she changed her mind.

The two had a discussion during which Colburn explained that the invitations had already been sent and the party venue could not be changed so close to the date.

According to Frederick psychologist Elise Abromson, who specializes in working with children, most kids are very indecisive. This trait often comes out when they are allowed to make decisions regarding their birthday parities.

"Parents, we want to do everything ahead of time," Abromson said. "Children's minds don't work like that. That can cause a pretty big issue."

She suggests setting a decision deadline for kids and giving them only a few venue options to choose from.

"Be flexible with that, too, because it is about them," she said. But "obviously if you put down [a large deposit on a venue ]... there are plenty of other birthdays," she said.

Reminding children who change their minds at the last minute that they will have another birthday to celebrate in just one year is always a good idea, she added. Stressing that their second-choice venue will still make for a lot of fun is also vital.

Another important piece of advice is to not "let your own stress get in the way," Abromson said. Kids, who often have their own worries on the day of a birthday party, "can pick up on parents' stress," she said.

A good way to limit anxiety is to find a venue that can provide supplies, Colburn said. The drinks, plates, utensils and cupcakes for her daughter's party last week were all provided by the zoo, she said.

"Just for the peace of mind, it's easier to order it from [the venue]," she added. Not having to worry about "lugging a cake" or forgetting things such as cups and plates eased her mind.

Nancie Brengle, mother of guests at Colburn's party, said she keeps parties for her sons simple by hosting them at home.

She likes that she doesn't have to gather supplies and decorations and take them to another location. It's also easier to monitor her kids and their guests when the party is held in a familiar space, she said.

According to Abromson, in-home parties can also help minimize a child's stress level.

"I think when you're kind of at home base, all kids feel a little more comfortable," she said.

"A lot of times if they're doing something that's not at home ... kids are worried that their friends aren't going to enjoy themselves," she said. Children "as young as 8" can get stressed out about whether all their guests will enjoy an event that has them participating in a specialized activity, she said.

"I would say keep it simple," Abromson said. "It's very easy to go out of hand."

Many kids don't even realize that birthdays are a big deal until they start socializing with other children on a regular basis, she said. For most, that means when the child begins school. She suggests simply asking children how they would like to celebrate.

"Sometimes they know before you know what they're ready for," she said, adding that many young children prefer a more low-key celebration.

She added that parents can save time and money by evaluating what decorations and party supplies the children will actually enjoy versus what may only impress adult guests.

"Keep in mind the age level of the kids and what they will and will not appreciate," she said.

"A lot of times it can become who can do the bigger party. Definitely keep your kid in mind and do it for them."

E-mail Courtney Pomeroy at cpomeroy@gazette.net.