Expert Q&A: Seek support from other dads caring for kids
Jeff Barehand, the "head dad" in the at-home dads' support group "Howard County Dads is the father of five children ranging in age from 1 to 15 years.
Barehand, 34, says being a dad is a full-time job. His wife, Shana, works in Washington, D.C. as a lawyer.
He takes care of everything at home: the children, the household, the daily chores. He is a Cub Scoutmaster, a soccer coach and a PTA newsletter writer.
"I have three kids in school and two at home, so it's kind of like non-stop work," he said.
Barehand anticipates returning to the workforce when his youngest child reaches school age. In fact, he was in New Mexico when he spoke with The Gazette by phone last month, attending a six-week intensive film workshop sponsored by Disney/ABC. He hopes to make a career of film-making when he goes back to work. Barehand and his family live in Elkridge.
Do you find that stay-at-home dads are sometimes ostracized or marginalized? What can stay-at-home dads do to stave that off?
Barehand: Yes, sometimes. I would [advise other at-home dads to] just show that you're taking care of your children, and people will be willing to accept you more.
What can a group like Howard County Dads do?
Barehand: It can provide support, comfort and give someone the little push that helps them to get through the day, because sometimes it's isolating. … You feel like everywhere you go it feels like there's the moms at the parks and moms at the playground, and they still look at you [as a stay-at-home dad, as] funny. [The group is] for camaraderie.
What are the most important things that someone considering being a stay-at-home dad should know?
Barehand: I would definitely seek out [support] groups because some of the guys are just cool and you can make a lot of friends that way. Definitely seek out support, read all you can and keep up to date with all the information about child-rearing you can. And the most important thing is being outside with your kids, for me that's the best part of being a stay-at-home dad.
Eventually we have to go back to work so that's always on your mind, but that depends on how old your kids are and your financial situation; you're always wondering where am I going?