A retching development

For those who could stomach it, the ‘4x8urrito’ was quite a mouthful

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Click here to enlarge this photo laurie dewitt⁄the gazette Have burrito, will travel: Walter Johnson graduate David Simms runs his leg of the 4x8urrito, a comical relay race run by 40 past and present Montgomery County track athletes at Gaithersburg High Sunday.

They have always been rare birds — distance runners. Their sporting life consists of running in an oval ... over and over and over again. Their specialty is what coaches in other sports use as punishment.

But on Sunday, a group of them provided a glimpse into the wild side of pounding the pavement. Forty distance runners from Montgomery County Public Schools, past and present, convened at Gaithersburg High for the first-ever ‘‘4x8urrito,” a farcical test of — um, how to put this? — athletic and digestive fortitude.

Suffice to say that this race, ladies and gentlemen, was not for the faint of stomach.

‘‘This has been the most important race of my life,” said 2005 Walter Johnson graduate Ben Fowler, a rising sophomore at Middlebury (Vt.) College. ‘‘It’s probably one of my most difficult feats.”

The race format itself was a typical 4x800-meter relay, but the gag — no pun intended — was to see how many runners would lose their lunch. On Sunday, you see, lunch was part of the race.

It began with the leadoff runners scarfing down a full-size Chipotle burrito at a large table at the starting line. Once finished, they took the second runner’s ‘‘baton” (burrito) and ran 800 meters before handing off and starting the cycle all over.

‘‘I’ll just say this,” Fowler crowed before the race. ‘‘This is for Montgomery County glory, baby! This is the real deal!”

Glory was first dished up in March, when Richard Montgomery junior Brian Sickles came up with the Burrito Mile. The idea was simple: Contestants, about 15 to 20 of whom met at Wootton, ate two Chipotle burritos within an hour and then ran 1,600 meters. Walter Johnson sophomore Chris Moen, who won the 4A state mile in 4:20.6 last month, easily finished first in 4:31, running the last 50 meters backwards.

Dramatically speaking, though, the Burrito Mile was a bit underwhelming. With so much time to digest the burritos before running, vomiting wasn’t a problem, so some participants resorted to cruel and unusual tactics to force the issue. Surrounding Northwest junior Reagan Lynch before he started his race, they serenaded him with barfing noises while Richard Montgomery senior Bret Ligon punched him in the stomach until Lynch gave the old heave-ho.

‘‘Nobody had puked yet,” Ligon said. ‘‘We needed at least one.”

Asked what this says about the close fraternity of county tracksters, Lynch didn’t hesitate: ‘‘They’re a heartless bunch.”

Believing that burritos (and nausea) needed to be a more integral part of the competition, Moen’s teammate, Julian Stern, the SGA president at Walter Johnson, took the problem upon his capable shoulders. He ran ‘‘a little exhibition race” immediately after the Burrito Mile, eating two burritos while running 1,600 meters. An idea was born. Soon, the notion of a burrito-filled 4x800 race found its way to www.mocorunning.com, an all-Montgomery County Web site, where 13 county teams signed up (10 competed Sunday).

The pre-race buildup was nearly as entertaining as the actual relay. A group of former Walter Johnson stars who are now all running in college — Fowler, Andrew Jesien (Virginia), Peter Novick (James Madison) and David Simms (Emory) — sauntered onto the Gaithersburg track shirtless, with red capes and gold medals around their necks. The foursome had won the 2003 Class 4A-3A indoor state title in the 4x800.

After the group went through some showy warm-ups, which included jumping jacks and semi-synchronized leg kicks, one rival shuddered.

‘‘Dude,” he said, ‘‘that’s so intimidating.”

Moments before the race, another quartet of current Walter Johnson students, Stern included, strutted onto the track carrying a boom box blaring hip hop. They were shirtless, too, sporting only green running shorts and white paint smeared all over their upper torsos.

Why the white paint?

‘‘We’re the Sour Cream Dream Team,” said sophomore Rafi ‘‘El Conquistador” Moersen.

Ahhh.

The event actually attracted a crowd. A couple dozen parents and classmates looked on — some in glee, some (parents) in a minor state of shock. One boisterous Wootton Burritos booster refused to divulge her name or that of her son.

‘‘Proud parent?” she asked with a laugh. ‘‘I’m just a parent.”

The names of the teams showed the cleverness, or lack thereof, of some of our nation’s future. There were the Boyz in the Hood, the MoCo MoFos, Team Guac and the severely uninspired WJ 2003 4x8 Indoor State Champs (Word!). The last one, sadly, came from the aforementioned team of young men currently enrolled at institutions of higher learning.

Personal favorites? The Three Amigos (considering it was a four-by-eight race) and Team Redonk. The latter, an all-female quartet from Northwest, was a name that begged for clarification.

‘‘Because we’re redonkulously fast,” sophomore Kathy Aherne announced, ‘‘and we’re going to pone everybody.”

Memo to Northwest principal Sylvia Morrison: Personally monitor English classes in 2006-07.

As for the actual race, it was pretty redonkulous. There was a lot of noisy gorging at the ‘‘exchange” table, a lot of previously digested burrito matter flying all over the track, and a lot of cheering for both.

Kenny Sui of Wootton pulled off the rare double-chuck — at 350 meters into the race and with about 50 meters to go. Asked if it was a badge of honor or shame to have upchucked in such an illustrious event, Sui flatly replied, ‘‘I think it’s both.”

Don’t feel bad, Kenny. Brian Graves of Richard Montgomery didn’t even make it out of the exchange zone before losing it.

‘‘I’m a small boy,” Graves explained. ‘‘Its massiveness — the beans and salsa in the middle got to me.”

Not surprisingly, the stacked college team of Walter Johnson grads won in 21:26 — just slightly slower than their 2003 state championship time. The rotten burrito award went to the last-place Burrito Eaters of Gaithersburg, who needed 53:55 to eat and run.

Fans walked away impressed.

‘‘You’ve got to give it to the guys who are throwing up while running,” the anonymous Wootton mom said. ‘‘It’s real teamwork.”

It didn’t take long before talk of the next burrito competition surfaced.

‘‘Watch out for the Burrito Olympics this summer,” said Sour Cream Dream Team member Marcelo Morinigo.

Stern expressed similar hopes of an all-day smorgasbord of Chipotle-flavored contests that will include skillful events like the taco two-mile and the burrito shot put.

‘‘Basically, I want to incorporate Chipotle in every event,” Stern said.

That, an onlooker suggested, means a local Chipotle should sponsor the next affair. This set off clamorous approvals from many of the athletes.

‘‘Yeah! We could do that!” El Conquistador said. ‘‘My dad said we could. We have connections since we’re both Mexican.”

As the crowd dispersed, parents of one of the victorious Walter Johnson runners headed to their car, marveling at what had just taken place. They expressed satisfaction that their son, clearly, no longer appears embarrassed to be with them in public. They also enjoyed taking part, at least from a considerable distance, in a winning venture.

‘‘If you’re going to do something that stupid, you might as well win,” the proud papa said.

What a great slogan for next year’s race.