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Fasano works at Behavioral Health Partners of Frederick Inc., which provides comprehensive mental health services to children, adolescents and adults at two locations in Frederick. Behavioral Health Partners is a joint venture between Frederick Memorial Hospital and Sheppard Pratt.

How do birth order traits arise in children? What is the role of parents and other siblings in bringing those traits out?

Cook-Fasano: Birth order traits arise in children much the same way that other character or personality traits arise in children, as a function of genetic influence, as a function of family dynamics and the impact of the parent-child relationships, as a result of personal experience and as a result of biopsychosocial development.

However, there are many factors that can effect how much birth order plays a role in determining personality, such as gender, blended families, adoptions, how many children are in the family and the spacing between the children (two years apart versus eight years apart).

Not every child "fits" into a personality category simply based on birth order alone..

How accurate is birth order in explaining and determining a child's personality or future?

Cook-Fasano: There is no doubt that birth order can have a significant impact on shaping personalities, interests and futures. However, many factors from genes to life experiences influence how a child will turn out in the future. It would be a mistake to attribute the large effects of a child's future success or failure on such a subtle variable as the order in which a child was born.

Birth order traits have been identified by many studies across the world, however, it is always important to see past the stereotypes. Typically, it is believed that first-born children are natural leaders, problem-solvers, are self-confident, have strong organizational and logical reasoning skills and relate better to adults.

Middle children are said to be great peacemakers, better at negotiating, are more laid-back and have great interests in socializing. These children are also reported to be more prone to rebelliousness and sensitive to competitions with older siblings.

It is claimed that last-born children have the least discipline, are more spoiled and can become adept at manipulating others to get their needs met. They, too, can struggle with feelings of inferiority with siblings.

Given these stereotypical traits associated with birth order, one can find multiple examples within history to both prove the accuracy of the stereotypes as well as provide exceptions.

Are there exceptions to the theory of birth order? If so, what are they?

Cook-Fasano: Exceptions to the birth order theory can be found in just about every family, as rarely do we find a set of siblings that fall within all of the stereotypes. In addition, clinically speaking, there are many theories as to why people think, feel, or behave in certain ways.

There has not yet been one theory put forth that all professionals could agree on as the sole explanation for personality development, character development and predicting behavior. There are many professionals who do endorse birth order as a contributing factor, but again, other factors play a larger role in a child's personality or trait development.

What kind of problems could birth order create in a family? Are there any positive benefits to it?

Cook-Fasano: Birth order problems occur when parents subscribe to a certain set of expectations for their children, based strictly on birth order and then parent their children in an unfair way, with unreasonable expectations. Parents who only expect their oldest child to be responsible, motivated, academically successful or a leader often ignore the potential of their younger children, put undue pressure on the oldest to achieve perfection and rarely notice the efforts of younger children to "measure up."

In addition, they unknowingly set up sibling rivalries between children which, if left unchecked, can have a profound impact on each child's self-image and self-esteem.

However, the benefits of birth order predictions can be seen simply by looking at the benefits of sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry is often the first place a child learns about conflict resolution, in a safe and supervised manner. In addition, sibling rivalry also teaches children that life is not fair and rarely do we get what we want all of the time.

Living within the structure of a family, children learn that life is full of inequities and often times, rewards and consequences are not always distributed evenly.

How can moms and dads parent more even-handedly?

Cook-Fasano: It is essential that parents be on "the same page" with respect to parenting expectations, discipline styles and use of consistent rewards and consequences.

Parents can learn to parent more even-handedly by identifying a specific set of household rules and putting routine and structure in place for every child in the home. In addition, children need to be given age-appropriate chores as a means of not only learning how to care for their own belongings, but also as a way to contribute to the maintenance of the household. Household rules should apply to all of the children and then each individual child should have his own set of individual rules or expectations that are specifically identified (such as a later bedtime for an older child). Rewards and consequences should also be distributed in an equitable fashion.