Mitchellville woman turns grief into inspiration

Thursday, March 9, 2006

Click here to enlarge this photo Christopher Anderson⁄The Star Valerie Samuels signs copies of her book ‘‘Always My Twin” at Infusions Tea Café in the Boulevard at the Capital Centre as her daughter Julia, 3, leans against her. Samuels wrote the book for children dealing with the loss of a twin sibling based on her family’s experience.

Samuels, 45, resides in Mitchellville and, along with her husband Eugene, is the proud parent of Kenneth, 15, Justin, 14, Caira, 9, Rachel, 5, and Julia, 3, . Julia’s twin sister, Gina, died in April 2002.

‘‘Gina was pre-diagnosed with problems resulting from fluid on her brain,” Samuels said. ‘‘She was born with Trisomy 13 and Holoprosencaphaly, both of which are lethal disorders.”

Though Samuels knew Gina would be ill she was not prepared for her unexpected death. Samuels, along with her family, felt initial shock, sadness and disappointment but were determined to get through it together.

‘‘There was shock for a good while and it stayed through the funeral,” Samuels said. ‘‘It was a huge loss but it’s [part of] healing for families to talk about it.”

In May 2003 Samuels founded ‘‘A Mother’s Heart”, a support ministry for mothers who have lost young children due to miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). The ministry is operated out of Woodstream Church in Mitchellville.

‘‘I sensed that there was a strong need for it in this community,” Samuels said. ‘‘We do visitation and send cards and flowers [to the families].”

Samuels runs the ministry with Angela Wiggins, a fellow Woodstream church member and Mitchellville residents. Wiggins’ younger sister lost a son two months after birth in February 2003.

‘‘Valerie called and shared her condolences with me. We talked about loss and decided we wanted to do something on a big level,” Wiggins said. ‘‘In April, we started the ministry.”

As a prenatal nurse, Wiggins has a passion for children and in assisting people when they experience loss.

‘‘I have lived that loss a hundred times through patients I have loved and cared for,” Wiggins said. ‘‘It’s a loss to us as health professionals too.”

The ministry deals with loss of child(ren), families faced with infertility, adverse pregnancy diagnosis, and post abortion healing. Samuels and Wiggins provide numerous resources to families in addition to emotional, physical and spiritual support.

An annual ‘‘Remembrance Walk” is held in October through ‘‘A Mother’s Heart” and funds go toward burial arrangements and resources for families that the ministry serves. October is National Pregnancy and Infancy Awareness Month.

In January, Samuels wrote a book entitled ‘‘Always My Twin: For Young children who have experienced the death of their twin sibling.”

Narrated by a five-year-old, the book depicts the tragedy of losing a twin sister starting with the mother’s pregnancy, to the deceased twin’s funeral and paying tribute to the lost twin.

Many of the tributes mentioned in the book are performed by Samuels such as having two birthday cakes on Julia’s birthday in memory of Gina and wearing a heart shaped locket with newborn pictures of both twins.

‘‘I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter Gina but God bless you for writing this book,” wrote Andra Opdebeeck in an e-mail to Samuels. ‘‘My daughter Emily passed away suddenly in utero at 31 weeks. Her twin sister Stephanie survived and I would love to order a copy of your book to help talk to her about Emily.”

It is e-mails like the one above that drive Samuels to keep working to dispense information to mothers everywhere. She is a member of CLIMB (the Center for Loss In Multiple Births) and has been invited to be a speaker at the 15th National Perinatal Bereavement Conference in Chicago this year.

‘‘These last two to three years have been difficult,” Samuels said. ‘‘After any great loss you have to find a new normal to embrace. I’m in a different place.”

For more information about ‘‘Always My Twin” send an e-mail to alwaysmytwin@comcast.net. For more information on ‘‘A Mother’s Heart” visit www.amothersheartministry.com.

E-mail Brooke N. Garner at bgarner@gazette.net.